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.. carpet muncher, get it?"Subtlety has never been my big sis's best asset. We finally sat. I was still very worried about a faux pas from my loving nutritionist. Then it happened!As I began pouring two gallons of gravy (as lumpy as one of the Three Stooges skulls) over five pounds of lumpier mashed potatoes, she could remain silent no longer. "Do you know what that crap is doing to your body?"Her diatribe brought jeers and profanities from others across the table. Soon, clumps of spuds were being launched at us by spoon catapults. It was like "Game of Thrones, the Vegan Years." I had to get her out of there before chainsaws were deployed. She is mine to protect. This is the woman I want to spend the rest of my... Spring with. I must admit I have an intense fear of commitment, it's like a disease. But she's my girl today and I'll fight for her. I took her hand and we fled, hurdling rose bushes and drainage ditches as my family lit torches and began the classic angry mob pursuit, fresh. She felt herself begin to tremble. He was right. If her husband found out what she was doing, he’d divorce her. ‘Please, Rod!’ she said, trying to make it sound like she was protesting, even though she was really becoming aroused. ‘This isn’t right! I’m a married woman. You’re a married man!’ ‘Fuck that marriage shit!’ Rod snapped. ‘Last time I was here you were hornier than I was, for Christ’s sake! Hell, I know you like fucking me! Maybe more than I like fucking you!’ He liked their little game almost as much as Nancy seemed to. But he knew something she didn’t. If she continued to resist him, he’d take her anyhow. Once he had his shirt off, Rod walked across the living room and pulled Nancy roughly into his arms. His lips crushed against hers in a bruising kiss, then he took his mouth from hers, breathing hard. ‘Ready to go to your bedroom?’ he asked. Nancy looked down at her feet and slowly nodded her head. ‘Let’s get going,’ Rod said. ‘I got work to do today.’ He took her arm.
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